So it's a happy new year to everyone, may this be the greatest yet. Two thousand and nine, the tenth year of the third millenium - whatcha gonna do with it? All yours. Lies out there ahead of you... what's it going to be about? Who's going to be in it? It's like planning an elaborate story, only here's the exciting part: it's not being written alone. It's a composite piece, added to and edited by a carefully chosen cast of friends. Maybe it's not going to turn out as expected - chances are, somewhere along the way, there'll be a twist in the plot no-one could see coming... but it's still going to be an epic masterpiece. I'm intrigued already, and I'm still on the first page.

2009

I try to do as little gazing into the future as possible when it comes to the new year. I find it's not helpful to build a giant tower of half-baked ideas about what kind of expectations I have about the year ahead. It's never like I expect it to be. This is a good thing, in a lot of ways! I do like a nice surprise from time to time.

Of course in the section headed '2009' you'll be expecting New Year's Resolutions. Not here, friend. If that's the kind of thing that interests you... skip to the end now! This one's to have a wee chat about the future. Let's think about it for a bit. Join me in the zone...

The open road. Blank pages. Nothing's even happened yet. It's the pause between when the concert pianist sits down and when he or she starts to play. Fingers poised, notes unstruck. The audience is waiting, breath held, to see what the first tune will be. Is it going to be lively? Melancholy? Fierce? Tell you now it's going to be all those things. There hasn't been a year when somebody somewhere didn't feel it all. I could be that somebody, anyone could.

It's times like this when I almost wish you got the same year twice. Imagine how different it would be, imagine all the possibilities and endless opportunities there could be that were never taken last time round. But that doesn't happen... I'll make do - and more than make do - with '09; this is opportunity lane, possibility city.

I'm not a risk-taker as a general rule. But I must take more risks. I shall not be afraid. This may as well be the time for taking to heart the often-repeated sentiment about running to the next window of opportunity when this one closes - or breaking down the door! I'm fresh out of '08 opportunities. Next window please!

I can't say a thing about '09 in general - I haven't been there yet. I'm going. I shall be in attendance. But about the end of the year, I will write down some thoughts. I always get to the end of each year and look back over the blog I've been keeping for seven or eight years and think "I wish I'd written my thoughts about the end of the year at the beginning of it". So that's just what I'll do. Nothing fancy, just some ramblings.

What's it going to be like? Where do I see myself? Well, God willing I will be attending the LPC course at Liverpool John Moores University, finishing my first term. Top of my class? Unlikely. Maybe I will develop a work ethic better than "Work when necessary" before then. I will no longer be on the executive committee of Liverpool City Christian Union - might be kinda weird being at CU after that. I intend to stay 'til the end of my university life though. Maybe I'll still be fully involved; maybe I'll just be attending. I just hope that I reach the end of the year thinking I didn't make a pig's ear of it. I didn't mess it up. I took that chance and it worked out. I did the right thing. Always.

So, about setting up expectations for myself... yes, well. Not to be done. Hahaha. Moving on.

2008

This is last year. I'm going to have to get used to writing the new number - that's the hard part about the change, you know. Let me have a quick ponder about the events of the last year now...

For some reason I'd always thought it was going to be a Big Year. You know, crazy big important things were going to happen and it was the year I was always going to remember. I mean maybe it will turn out like that, but... yeah also maybe not! It's been just another year, though not without the typical highs, lows and.. what else do you have? Normals. Satisfying normals.

Train travel. I learnt to commute. On the subject of things I have learnt, I had also discovered that it is very awkward to carry a lock of girl's hair around in one's wallet, especially of such magnitudes as three-inch lengths tied with masking tape. I have learnt that friendships may either be built or just materialise, and that not everyone is able to be good friends with everybody else. It just doesn't work. I have learnt the meaning of GET OUT OF MY FACE and how to kill an hour in Wigan. I have learnt that teeth do break more easily than you might expect, and that you cannot escape human nature - neither your own nor other people's.

Learning, learning... I have further learnt that it is not big and it is not clever to walk around Liverpool alone in the dark. I have learnt to play Einaudi's "Nefeli" by heart. I have learnt how to make hay, and how to get sunburn so bad it crusts over on your face in the night. I have learnt that I look very much like Tumnus the faun when I grow my hair and wear a scarf. I have learnt that in all my years I have not changed a bit, yet am different in every way. I have learnt to contradict.

I have learnt that a number of people find me "very witty" and that mock arrogance is sometimes mistaken for genuine arrogance. I have learnt about forgiveness and lack of forgiveness, about guilt and responsibility. I have learnt that there is a road called Lovers Lane just near the geographical marker of the intersection of 90 degrees and 45 degrees. I have learnt that the New York subway system needs air-con. I have learnt that no matter what you think about someone or something in your life... you should be ready for surprises both good and bad.

I have learnt that you should release your 'crazy' in small doses. Also, that you can watch every single episode of Scrubs on Youtube, and that doing so not only helps to fill the void left by not doing any uni work, but can seriously affect the phrases and comments you come out with. I learnt that I think I'm like JD but come across like Dr Cox. And Brian May is not James May's brother.

Enough of learning. I've learnt many things. I intend to learn many more. I think this is a positive line of thought, though - learning has been a great part of my year; it has variously enriched and humbled me.

And I use lots of words.

Also, Selfridges... do not.

Enough already. The year is detailed and documented all over my blog. Let's talk about things we don't know. Like resolutions.

Mind if I check over last year's ones beforehand? Cheers. One moment please while I drag up last year's entry... here we go.

1. To show courage.

To be fair, I think I've shown a decent amount of courage. If I say so myself. Lol.

2. To show mercy.

I did this too, but I think maybe I found fewer situations where I had to show it.

3. To be the friend you can rely on.

I'm afraid sorry no, I have been unreliable. I even turn up late for things now.

4. To graduate with 1st class honours.

This much I have achieved, and I'm quite glad of it. Nearly didn't make it!!

5. To go to the gym three or four times each week until my membership runs out.

Well, that's a while ago now isn't it. A distant memory. I did not succeed, anyway.

6. To break down the barriers and scale the walls between me and particularly three people I could once call close friends.

Which three people, I wonder... oh yes, I remember. Things are back to normal with one, at a sensible level with another and things have been brought to a gentle close with the third - and indeed I still speak on occasions with all of them. This is a success.

7. To be outgoing, to encourage and enrich – to reach out, to bring a smile to the downcast and whatnot.

Yeah, right! I have encouraged some people in some ways, I'm told. This is good. I have not reached out to as many people as I could have done, and I have actually passed by opportunities to lift people up when they look to be in a low place. This is not good.

8. To get into the habit of reading my Bible and praying far more often.

Eventually I got round to praying about this, and got a couple of other people to pray about it also. After that I've had more of a desire to read the Bible, and I've done it much more often lately. Room for improvement, but it's a start!

All in all, I seem to be roughly heading in the right direction - though failures are failures, aren't they! Still, goes to show that I came up with some rather more realistic resolutions last year than the previous year.... lol. Anyway. Time to come up with some for 2009. Drumroll please!

...

1. Prioritise spending time with other people.

2. Let go of the little things.

3. Separate serious from funny.

4. Graduate GDL with a distinction.

5. Get into LJMU for the LPC.

6. Apply successfully for a training contract.

7. Actively become stronger and healthier.

8. Read more Bible and pray more.

9. Ah, well...

Nine seems like a clever number for this year. Do you see what I did there? Well, it's bed time. Long gone, in fact. Thought I'd get lots of early nights while I was home - apparenty not!

Happy New Year folks.

Nate